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Coping with a Subaru Addict


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#1 VaporTrail

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 10:15 PM

My wife was kind enough to write this up after I mentioned the post about the Subaru addiction and relationships post.....


------------------------------------------------------

Coping with a Subaru Addict


Get a bigger mailbox. Subaru parts come in all shapes and sizes.

Take up stamp collecting. Subaru parts come from all over the world.

Warn your postal carriers. Subaru parts rarely travel alone.

A Subaru addict has the ability to identify Subaru parts by the shape and size of the box. A less experienced addict will need to look at the return address. A more experienced addict will be able to tell you their wheels arrived just pulling in the driveway.

Clear a spot somewhere in the garage, basement, or spare room for parts boxes. Any strong box is a candidate for shipping parts out. Shipping boxes are recyclable. Once you can no longer cover the old label, just turn the box inside out. The outflow of parts is inversely proportionate to the inflow. Your spare shipping box supply will grow accordingly. Also maintain a supply of packing materials, Styrofoam peanuts, Styrofoam corners from electronic equipment, Wal-Mart sacks, newspaper, tissue paper, bubble wrap, those air pocket thingies, even strangely printed t-shirts from Flappys.

Note – You will end up with car parts in various rooms in your house eventually. Hopefully this will only be temporary.

The Ultimate Subaru Message Board feeds the addiction. EBay and PayPal are supplemental to the addiction and may lead to other addictions. A Subaru addict often has other addictions, such as food, computers or AdamAnt.

Gather local junkyard numbers and post by the telephone. Cell phones may not reach some remote areas but you should be able to contact the office. Don’t worry; they’ll know whom you are trying to reach. He’s the one who they start looking up the current Subaru inventory list the minute they saw him pull into the lot. The guys at the parts stores will know who he is too.

The “addiction” is also contagious. Subaru addicts enjoy “hooking up” friends and relatives.

Brush up on your Subaru identification skills. A Subaru addict takes pride in being able to spot Subarus several yards away. It also gives them great pride when your 6 year old can spot them several yards away. A word of caution – reaction of the Subaru addict may vary if you happen to spot one before they do.

You will develop a whole new wardrobe categorization system: shirts, Subaru shirts, and garage shirts.

Grounding the addict is acceptable. Providing the list of “honeydos” with the stipulation that the addict is not allowed back in the garage will result in the quickest completion of the list that you have ever seen. Warning – Beware the heated garage. This just allows them to fuel their addict year round and not do all the stuff they said they would do in the summer because they could work on the cars all winter.

Develop guidelines early on the size of your Subaru fleet. Determine the necessity of owning at least one car from every year, a Turbo of every style, different styles in the same paint color, a Turbo Brat, a Rally Brat, the Good Brat, the off-roader, a multi-passenger vehicle, the backup to the multi-passenger vehicle, something to tow the off-roader, a tinkerer, and the daily driver. The more room you have available, the more vehicles that will be in possession at any given time. Beware of the renting of additional storage units so as not to upset the neighbors. Warn your car insurer of the upcoming inventory. Warning – be very careful when enforcing your guidelines. Indicating that one car will have to go before buying that new EBay item may end up in a trade with Shawn. Technically the car left.

Get used to the looks you will receive while riding around in your vehicle. Carry a camera so you can catch the guy that about fell out of his Jeep trying to get a good look.

Start a journal to record all the interesting remarks about your vehicle. “Dude, cool car.” “Dude, what year is that Subaru you drive?” “My friends and I have a bet that this isn’t original parts.” “That is NOT an ordinary old Subaru.” “Just what is that?”

Be prepared for the occasional drive through the Subaru dealership, “to give the service guys a treat.”

Watch for more browsing through the want adds. Especially after 2004, when they are just waiting for that used turbo Baja to land within their price window.



Subaru-eze translation Guide

“I’m not buying any more Subarus.” Translates to - expect a new Subaru in transit to your house with in the next 24 hours.

“I’m only going to focus on Brats.” Translates to – that new Subaru that is in transit will end up being a wagon, sedan, or hatch.

“I’m just going out to the garage for a moment.” Translates to – don’t be surprised if you wake up at 3:00am and he’s still out there. Be prepared, once he does come in, he will tell you all the wonderful things he’s been doing. Learn to acknowledge while maintaining sleep.

“I’m just going to send an email to Moosens.” Translates to – don’t be surprised if you wake up at 3:00am and he’s fallen asleep at the computer.

“I’m reducing inventory.” Don’t hold your breath. Even if a vehicle finds a new home, its vacancy may justify a new purchase.

Start a cross-reference guide. McBrat, McGriz, and Mick are all the same person and all may be used in the same sentence. It is beneficial to relate the board name(s), first name, and state of residency.

#2 baccaruda

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 10:17 PM

haha. that's great. it's like the joke... "someone called for you but i forgot to write it down".. ok, i think i know who it is and what it's about anyway...

or you're in traffic, and your peripheral vision thinks it sees a subaru paint color somewhere almost behind you and 4 cars back turning off onto a sidestreet is an old hatch or something... "i thought i recognized that shade of white" :D

#3 archemitis

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 10:34 PM

yah, my gf and her will have something to talk about if shes at the midwest meet. she seems to think an ea81 intake and carb dont belong in the living room. shes learning how to spot nice old ea81s compared to scoroccos =].

#4 ShawnW

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 10:42 PM

Thanks, I needed this! HEHEEHEHE!!!

Originally posted by McBrat
Warning – be very careful when enforcing your guidelines. Indicating that one car will have to go before buying that new EBay item may end up in a trade with Shawn. Technically the car left.


I rememeber that day. I miss that Brat.

#5 PHATBRAT

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 10:59 PM

Thanks man, Couldn't have come at a better time. I just got done fighting with my wife about a new car since I just sold my mustang and she called my parents up so they can lecture me. What a joke! I am printing this out right now to hand to her.

#6 calebz

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 11:09 PM

Oh yeah.. this one is going to find its way on to my wifes desk for sure:)

#7 Turbone

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Posted 04 March 2004 - 11:23 PM

I'm also printing it up. Hope you dont mind, I will be giving it to the Missus.
Dont forget about the "Sooby Radar", almost like the one where your driving and you spot something out of the corner of your eye. But in this case you dont even see it, you just "sense it".

#8 moosens

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 12:26 AM

:D I got mentioned!!!! :D .....I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
:-p

#9 baccaruda

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 02:15 AM

I officially declare this Best Thread Ever on the USMB!!! all hail McBrat as chief poet leader of the world!

#10 VaporTrail

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 03:45 AM

but I didn't write it, my wife did!!!!!!!!!!

#11 urabus1995

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 04:12 AM

Brilliant thinkin !! I have a similar problem with guitars and amps. My GF and kids keep trippin over cases and wires. I dont even know how many I have. Only got 7 vehicles though.
Lucky I live in the country.

#12 iluvdrt

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 07:40 AM

wow, thats a good write up. i not only have suby parts laying around, but parts to vehicles i dont even own, you know, just in case.

#13 gravelRX

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 08:03 AM

Considering your about to get another big box in the mail.

Jay

#14 Qman

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 10:14 AM

She is right on with that one. All should be careful giving that to spouses. It can be used against you in times of disaggreement.

#15 calebz

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 10:58 AM

Originally posted by urabus1995
Brilliant thinkin !! I have a similar problem with guitars and amps. My GF and kids keep trippin over cases and wires. I dont even know how many I have. .



I have been forced to consolidate mine .. everything is crammed into one 10x10 room.. its a tight squeeze.


Mick.. great thread

#16 baccaruda

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 12:03 PM

sorry mick's wife!

#17 ezapar

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 12:14 PM

Vera (sp?) kicks rump roast!!



My wife feels about the same, she's able to co-exist peacefully with my Soobs and my Soob friends. Shoot, half the time we go out you'll find her riding shotgun or manning the camera.

#18 Wrench Princess

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 02:13 PM

Gee, now I know what to look forward to. Austin is only 21 and he is almost that bad already! Luckily for him it will probably be me bringing an intake and carb in the house to rebuild on the kitchen table. I've done it before (though not with Subaru parts). I also helped rebuild a tranny in the livingroom one time! I got used to my ex having stuff like brand new racing cams (still in the box) sitting on top of his dresser and Chevy 350 heads next to the bedroom door (outside the room) and crankshafts next to the bedroom door inside the room. And lets not forget about the Holly 4 barrel sitting under the desk (also brand new and still in the box). I think I can handle Austin when he gets there. Besides, Subaru parts are much smaller than Chevy parts! :-p

#19 Syrinx

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Posted 05 March 2004 - 02:58 PM

This is Ty, Kurt's wife!! I have another translation to add!!
"I bought you a remote control brat to play around with....."- Translation "I bought myself this toy and got caught, so I had to give it to her to cover it up"

Mick....thanks a lot to our new addition!! Can't wait to meet you next week!! And give your wife a hug for making me laugh so hard!

Ty

#20 VaporTrail

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 12:55 PM

seems we've recently had another influx of newbies, so thought I'd pop this to the top again, to help the newbies deal with their impending addiction :lol:

#21 Zefy

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 02:12 PM

i have learned that every soob guy/girl can recognize soobs using there eyes... but i have recently picked up the ability to recognize sound... i have used it on many occations and most times i just catch the back of it... i just hear it while i am walking home...

do i have a really weird ability or is this normal??? it must be normal!!! soobs make the best engine noise ever!!! well the rotary engines make a cool noise... but i like the soob sound better...

every time i point out a soob everybody looks at me funny because it would be a old rusty wagon or something...:D

one time a ferrari passed me and i glanced at it but then i saw the gl hatch behind it... it made my day!!!:grin:

so ya... no way my mom or dad is seeing this... its to much fire power for them...

#22 nicky nighteyes

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 02:21 PM

very good write up, i think she hit the nail on the head there, I especially like this one:
"The “addiction” is also contagious. Subaru addicts enjoy “hooking up” friends and relatives."

#23 subyrally

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 05:50 PM

i am the one that will always spota a suby, whether by sight, sound or esp. i can pin point a boxer's sound before anyone else can hear it, i can point out the tail lights of almost any suby from over a mile when i cent even make out the road signs. and i always seem to look up right in time to see a suby rolling down the street.


not to mention i have parts everywhere, brakes in my bed room, headers in hte utility room, more brake parts in the utiliy room.my bedroom is painted in mica blue and yellow trim(rally team colors) as well as having a blue and yellow tile floor and wrx models and posters all over.

#24 nicky nighteyes

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 05:59 PM

my bedroom is painted in mica blue and yellow trim(rally team colors) as well as having a blue and yellow tile floor and wrx models and posters all over.


what?
I wanna see some pictures! that sounds awesome. the WRC bedroom lol, what would really top it off would be SWRT bedsheets

#25 subyrally

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 06:05 PM

what?
I wanna see some pictures! that sounds awesome. the WRC bedroom lol, what would really top it off would be SWRT bedsheets




omg, if you can find those sheets, i would flip out. i will take some pics when i clean it up, its a hole righgt now, my mother is yelling about all the car mags all over ant he parts in the floor and just the clutter. i need to do something, but ill diffenatly take some pics.




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