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kinetic anti-frostbite device...


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Thank you. I picked this thing up in early December during the most intense blizzard anyone can remember. No problem, right? Well... I get there in the early dark of late evening, just as the snow really begins to come down. The seller meets me at the bottom of his road, an isolated dirt path out in the hills. Out of my friend's car with battery and gas can in hand but no plate. I had meant to bring one in order to lend myself some pretense of legitimacy~ this was not of much concern as I intended to follow mountain roads home. With the car still running, I swap out the battery, pour some gas in the tank, and myself into the driver's seat. I switch on the windshield wipers to clear away the inch of gummy snow that had taken only five minutes to collect there. Nothing. During its four years as a lawn ornament, the fact of its non functioning wipers had ebbed into inconsequentiality, an endearing quirk to be remembered one day long since with loving nostalgia. The seller seemed in such a state when I asked him 'is there a trick to these things'. No trick, no wipers, just ever fatter clumps of wet snow bombing down from a black sky. Fine, I tell myself, 'tis but a trifle; wipers or not, to home I shall proceed. At least I'll be warm thinks I, as I crank the heater up to 4. Nothing. The heater had worked for ten minutes during my test drive three days earlier, and was now taking a well deserved hiatus. Ok. So it's over the unfamiliar back trails of Vermont in the nighttime, through the worst blizzard in a century with no heater and no wipers in a strange car. This is what life is all about, thinks I as my treads find purchase in half a foot of freshly fallen saturated sky dirt. The engine rumbles with stout contentedness as it I thread ever up through deep forest switchbacks, all dark and still but for me and the softball clumps of snow pelting my stinging face as I hang out of the open window. A local college station crackles in through the FM as I crest the second ridge, and I adjust the dial to bring it in better. They're playing Indian sitar music again. I consult my atlas to confirm that my heading is true...

Edited by funk
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Love it man, great read.  Welcome to the USMB.

 

 

During its four years as a lawn ornament, the fact of its non functioning wipers had ebbed into inconsequentiality, an endearing quirk to be remembered one day long since with loving nostalgia.
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