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Guest Message by DevFuse

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Off-Road Epic (long)

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11 replies to this topic

#1 SubaSkeet


    iDesert Destroyer!

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Posted 26 August 2004 - 11:55 AM

Twas a beautiful summer day in the desert, and nature was in balance. That is, until Scott woke up. The devil creaked an eye and received an idea: a perfect day for....OFF ROADING FURY! Quickly he gathered his safety equipment for his weapon of destruction (the car) and headed for the domains of his two counterparts, Cal and Steve. After a short run to purchase necessary supplement (panda express and sodas) the trio took off towards the heart of their enemy mother nature - Corn Creek Reserve. On the way-that-is-free (freeway) however, their weapon decided to call a time out and heated above normal temperature levels. pulling over to the side, the trio waited for the beast to cool by making use of their extended hair and muscly necks to a noise so painful it can only be heard on occasion (headbanging to static-x). A few moments later it was time to continue their quest on destroying everything in their path. The turnoff was a few metres down the road from where they recharged previously, so they took the uncommissioned direction and merged onto the turnoff eventually. Suddenly, Scott's stomach created a deafening noise of emptiness. This could only be resolved by one action - eating the one thing they strived so hard to get (panda is 6 bucks now!). Nature was happy for the hiatus in their horrendous activities, and used it to deviate a plan. Thus, clouds began to form, the positive and negative ions bouncing off each other to create something so powerful, so unstoppable, it would halt the devilish three in their steps. Yes, they would have no chance to continue once the preparations were over! MWAHAHAHAHA!

...But alas, it was to no avail. The desert atmosphere destroyed the moisture as soon as it was created, and the three comrades continued on their path of rage. Nature cringed as the squirrel-like sound of the EA82 engine was brought to life. It knew it would fail to protect the place it held so dearly. The roads were open for attack, and attack they did. Accelerating faster than any normal vehicle could, nature could do nothing but marvel at Scott's ultimate driving capabilities, and extremely riskful choices. Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Sixty-Five, Seventy miles an hour, destruction was imminent for all regrowth in their way. even hills could not stop them - they sailed through the air several feet off the ground for long distances, and seemed to enjoy the stopping of their hearts and the flexing of the vehicle's suspension while continuing to listen to their noises of death. Nature just turned its head and weeped.

Two hours later the destruction ended. The weapon, the beast, otherwise known as SUBARU-LOYALE, ended their quest and turned them towards their civilized hell they called home. Nature was free once again to live as it once had so long ago, yet knew it could never fully regain all the strength that destroyed so many of these little demon's hopes and dreams in the past. The battle was over, but the war against Scott, Steve, and Cal was just commencing.

The End.

*No animals or plantlife were actually hurt in the making of this story. Nature's just a big sissy sometimes.
*All precautionary measures were calculated and added to the plan of attack. spare tires, extra parts, tools, water, and seatbelts were in full use.
*70mph on the dirt is truth. so is jumping the hills at that speed and catching tons of air.
*fun was had on this trip, and will be had again... when we return. muahahahahahahahaha...

#2 Qman


    Happiness is... no lag!!

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Posted 26 August 2004 - 12:42 PM

Excellent rendition.

#3 subynut


    EJ Powa!

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Posted 26 August 2004 - 07:37 PM

Beautiful! I love it!

#4 baccaruda



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Posted 26 August 2004 - 08:59 PM

english major?

#5 WJM



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Posted 26 August 2004 - 09:23 PM


SOunds like fun. WRX style action. Too bad I missed it. FUN FUN!! :banana:

#6 SubaSkeet


    iDesert Destroyer!

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Posted 26 August 2004 - 10:39 PM

my loyal loyale loved the dirt so much, it found its way onto a more local ground. about 5 miles away as opposed to 25 miles away. and truly OFF ROAD instead of rallying. oh my, was it fun. sure, you cant powerslide around the corners, but rolling next to cliffs and on a 30 degree angle equals the tension in my nerves at the same time. i say i flexed out several times, and i LOVED IT. i swear on everything holy that i will never not have a vehicle w/ 4wd capabilities. life would be meaningless. it was sooo funny sitting on a cliff honking my horn and waving as cars 40 ft below pass on the pathetic little paved road below, while craning their necks to see what retard is off roading a car. whoo, what a blast. will have pics this time, i would be an idiot not to bring one this time. im gonna show you all what this desert can do to your car. be prepared for some awesome roads in the area i call, "Gutter Alley", since theres just as much trash as there is vegetation (sagebrush and weeds). completely awesome.

heres a preview of what i did:
Posted Image

#7 ezapar



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Posted 26 August 2004 - 10:43 PM

i swear on everything holy that i will never not have at least 2 vehicles w/ 4wd capabilities. life would be meaningless.

slight edit

Big fat AMEN!!! to that!! I couldn't put it more simple.

#8 subynut


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Posted 26 August 2004 - 11:23 PM

Great pic! Hummm desert....looks like my kind of roads. Dusty, dusty and more dusty with a little rock on the side. yes?;)

#9 SubaSkeet


    iDesert Destroyer!

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Posted 26 August 2004 - 11:51 PM

english major?

not quite, just a kid with too much time.

#10 SubaSkeet


    iDesert Destroyer!

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Posted 27 August 2004 - 12:34 PM

Feel free to post your own stories on here, folks. and pics, while were at it. ready...GO!

#11 Nug


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Posted 27 August 2004 - 03:02 PM

So, back in the day, Josh, Chuck and I had left school to go home. I was driving Josh's brother's 2wd Justy. We had the tape deck blaring, and the windows down.

We were flying down a twisty, narrow road in the center of Caroline County, VA. Up ahead were some train tracks. Not slowing down one bit, I shot across them. Halfway across the tracks, I see a train in the distance.

"Hmm, there's a train coming", I said. Chuck said, "No there isn't, I didn't see one." A small arguement begins (why we were arguing about a train, I don't know). "Prove it", said Chuck. So I threw the car in reverse.

About halfway back to the tracks, the lights come on. And for some stupid reason, I thought "I can make it back across". Mashing the gas pedal, I raced backwards. The arms were starting to come down at this point. There was no point in stopping now.

The grade of the road was funny. You could fly across the track in one direction with no drama, yet a Justy at near-redline in reverse doesn't respond so well while going the other way. I don't think we touched the tracks at all, because we were way in the air, nearly hitting the descending arms, with big rump roast train about 200 ft. away.

Well, we didn't hit anything, except the ground. The impact confused me, and I steered in the wrong direction. Basically, we landed, spun a complete 180, and backed down the ravine right next to the tracks. Josh was mildly pissed (he was screaming), and he kicked me out of the driver's seat. Chuck and I were pushing, Josh was holding it to the floor, one tire still on pavement and smoke was pouring off of it. We got it out. Josh said i couldn't drive it anymore...that day.

Months later, his brother reclaimed it, and prompty got t-boned by a dumptruck. End of Justy.

#12 spanky_pete


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Posted 27 August 2004 - 03:43 PM

Excellent, nicely written. :)

No story here, but it was that sort of bored entusiasm that lead me to create this vid a while back. (This is a repost for some)



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