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Need Help Convincin' The Fiance


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After the wedding's over, and tax time comes around, I'm going to be looking for a new car. For those of y'all that haven't been following, the rails and floor pan on my '92 Loyale are rusting out, it needs new shocks, and a driveshaft on the left front. There's not much sense in continuing the repairs on her if I can't stop the rust, and I can't

 

Thing is, I really want another Subaru, either a wagon or a hatchback, from the eighties. Preferably an EA82, since I'm more familiar with it from the Loyale, but the lack of a timing belt/chain on the EA81's sound really nice, too. Either way, the car is fairly easy to work on. I like the way they drive, the way they're styled, and one would make a good project car (a lift, brushguard, skidplates, lights, etc...)

 

Problem is, the fiance wants something "reliable, like from the 90's. Something with lower mileage. Something that's not going to rust out." We've argued it back and forth, me trying to understand what's not reliable about the Sube's from the 80's (excepting rust), and trying to explain why the lack of a timing belt makes a car more reliable. I guess it doesn't help that she's viewing the Subaru's as more of a hobby car :boohoo: .

 

At this point, we've agreed to not discuss it until after the wedding on Christmas Eve. I've also compromised, saying that I'll look for cars other than Subaru's, and from the 80's to the 90's. I know, and I know she knows, however, that I still have my heart set on one of those 80's Subaru's.

 

She's not keen on me buying anything off the board, Ebay, or anything I haven't seen in person. Definitely doesn't trust the long distance buying/selling. She's giving me the impression that she's not going to be happy unless the car needs absolutely no work at all, too.

 

Question: How do y'all handle this? Most of you have feminine significant others, from what I've seen, and some of you are really lucky to have gals that participate :banana:. Logical explanations haven't worked, nor can I explain anything mechanical to her... makes it extremely hard to fight "I want you to get something reliable" when I don't understand her definition of reliable (besides "something from the 90's). ERG!:madder:

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Well, it seems odvious to me that 80's soobs are reliable, excepting rust. So maybe you could work something out with a fellow board member to get ahold of a rust-free one from the west coast or midwest with relatively low mileage. Then undercoat it really well. As long as you keep paint/coating on the entire car, it can't rust.

 

If it's just the decade difference, then get a 94 loyale. You can swap in a d/r if you want, and everything else is basically the same as the older ea82s.

 

Probably sticking with an ea82 subaru would be best. Even though ea81s have no timing belts and are generally simpler, they just don't tend to come off appearing to be in as good of shape in the eye of people who aren't subaru fanatics. And since they are older, they usually have higher mileage and more signs of hard use.

 

Good luck!

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My wife and I have had this discussion/argument many times over the past 8-9 years. Basically what it always ends up being is, she gets a car that doesn't need to be worked on(at least very often.. its hard to tell with any used car), and I get my Soob(or saab, or whatever my particular car hobby is at the time).. that way she isn't driving something that needs work, amd I get my car of choice. It actually works out better for both of us that way. For example, her current car is a 94 camry. paid about $5000 for it and it has the bulletproof lexus V6, leather and all the goodies. All I have to do is change the oil and deal with normal 10 year old Toyota stuff. My car is my 87 Turbowagon that was put together from spare parts. Its fully loaded for an 87 soob, has pug rims and its something to tinker with. When I do have to spend money on it, I just remond her that she has a $5000 car and I only have about $700 into mine.. And mine has way more new stuff on it than hers does..given the small amount of money I have into the car, its also easier to get myself out of trouble should I drag another one home.. "But honey, Look how inexpensive it was.. If I put it in Auto trader, I could get 3 times what I paid for it!"

 

This advice goes for nearly any aspect of your marriage: If you make sure she has what she wants first, getting what you want will be a hell of a lot easier.

 

Good luck!

 

EDIT: For the record, my wife hates my subarus, but I get away with it not only because she has her nice car, but because they are so damned useful!

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Does she have to drive it? That alone is usually a step in the right direction. If she doesnt have to depend upon it then her letting you be happy will normally win.

 

I suggest you discuss it with her before the wedding. Establish rules and communication before you are married. Its not like you are asking for a crotch rocket or something "dangerous" you want a safe old reliable Subaru.

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Get her a 2.2L Impreza wagon and yourself a newer Loyale ('93-'94). OR, let her drive your car for a little bit--she'll either love it or hate it. (Hopefully she'll love it!) Unless she has to drive it on a regular basis, though, it really shouldn't be a concern as long as it's cheap and it doesn't detract from your marriage. (No piles of Soob stuff all over the place, half-parted cars in the driveway, hours at a time spent on the board and days under the hood...my God, now I know why my mother hates mine ;)

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without telling you straight forward, she probably just doesn't want to be seen in what she eyes as an old piece of pooh. You see the car as reliable and...well.. the best there is of course, cause it's a Subaru. But she might be using the "reliability" thing in an effort to get a more modern car that she would feel more comfortable driving for self-esteem reasons. And she probably doesn't want you fiddlin under some other girl's hood, if ya know what what I mean. reliablity wise though, just show her that website, i think its the over 100,000 mile subie club or somethin like that. Its got cars with like 300,000 miles on them. and show her some prices of repair stuff (so cheap!). And besides yourself, all the mechanics you'll ever need are all right here on the board, so there's a huge money saver. Good luck! :wave:

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First of all, the problem here IMO is that you are listening to her. You should not discuss this with her on that level. You should decide and she should just live with the decision. There are always going to be disagreements so one person will have to do the deciding. You cannot let a woman run your household!!! Especially make automotive decisions!!

 

Secondly, the above does not mean you should ignore her, if she will use the car at all, you need to make a decision which will accomodate her but without jeopardizing your authorithy - that's the dilemma you are faced with.

 

Having said that, a good decision does rule out anything from the 80's and anything that's close to a project car. No question about it, old cars 15-18 years old are less reliable.

 

I know from experience. My 1992 Loyale hit 183K miles and everything fell apart on it or wore out. Transmission, engine, timing belts, ECM and more. The damn computer failed in the middle of freaking nowhere. That was right after the timing belts failed in the middle of nowhere. Yes, old cars do need more work, and yes, it will have downtime. I also have a 1987 Ford and that's also very problematic from age. (not mileage, it has 105K miles).

 

Subarus are overrated realibility-wise IMO. They are not any more reliable than full size V8/RWD Chevrolets, and arguably less so. 1980's man, that's 15-18 years

old. Stuff will go bad solely from age. If you do get a 80's vehicle, make sure it is super low miles, new paint, etc. and has had all the major stuff in it replaced. New drivetrain and the vehicle from a southern state.

 

Nonetheless, the decision should be yours. Pick something like a 90's Subaru Legacy with decent miles. You need to be in control man, and she needs to respect your authority, or else you will be miserable (you have having issues before you are married )

 

I am sorry to say this, but maybe instead of reassessing your choice of cars, you should reassess your choice of women. It's the same story: A woman wants to change her man into something else, make him give up bikes, guns, trucks, Subaru's or whatever hobby he has. I personally could not accomodate someone like that.

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I have the above problem as well. My significant other half hates the Subaru because she thinks it get's more attention that what she does!! Personally I think it doesn't get enough attention, and she gets too much, but that's another story. Anyway, I think the only way to get around this is to stretch the budget and get something she likes, and then get a Subaru for yourself. In my case she will bag the Subaru out every chance she gets, but at least I get to have one!! Good Luck. PS. If you only can have one car and you need something reliable, as someone else suggested go for a Legacy. They are a different car to the older L-Series, but they are similar in many ways. If you know your way around the older models mechanically, I think you'll find yourself in familiar territory with the Legacy.

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well i must say that the older soobs are super reliable, but the rust is the kicker... 290k original on my turbo wagon and its gettin scrapped because of the rust..

 

my wife and I have had this discussion before.. basically what we have finally decided on is, i take car of the car situation, make sure she has something to drive, if it breaks, i fix it.. she takes care of the house work.. dishes, laundry, etc..

 

in my eyes this works great.. except when every car i give her she totals.. but thats besides the fact..

 

I'm thinkin your Fiance is just "too good" to be seen in an old Subaru.. most women would rather look good in a newer car, than get where they wanna go in an older car..

 

thank god my wife really doesn't care what it is as long as it gets her from point A to B..

 

 

i'd say if she's gotta have a newer 90's subaru pick her up a legacy or impreza.. they're not too horribly expensive... and like caleb says, you can have a littel leverage for gettin new parts and stuff, cause your soob only cost $500 instead of $5000...

 

or just get her an SVX, they're 90's haha

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My wife came with her 99 Grand Prix, and as long as I don't try to take it away from here she's fine...

 

she tolerates the subarus because I could be doing lots worse things (bad past experience for her)

 

she also tolerates them because she understands I have an illness ;)

 

she can drive a manual tranny but prefers not to, so now that I have the turbo brat with auto, she is okay to drive it if needed....

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does she come from a family of folks that have little or no mechanical knowledge?

 

IE "mom and Dad don't know a wrench from a torque wrench or a pair of channel locks?"

 

Then you have the ignorance factor added to the security factor.

 

If its just the security factor (I daon't want to have to wrry about it going kaput on me one random night and stranding me somewhere). Well is she knowledgeable of her own car? Does she know how things work? Is she safe driving her car? Does she have confidence in how to drive her car in ANY, yes ANY weather? I learned how to ride a motorcycle from Mom. I have taught many folks(male and female) how to turn a wrench and simpler aspects of their own personal car.

 

Demystify the subaru thing for her via working on your communication skills. as for that "scrotchrocket" worry. FEAR is the stance behind that thought! I will not dialogue about motorcycle safety with someone who will not read up on the facts of motorcycle safety versus auto safety. If she would listen to your wishes about dialoguing with her about the older subaru then ask her why she won't dialogue is it based out of fear of the unknown? I mean do either of you know the quality of a paint brush for art sake? Which is better a camel hair or horse hair brush?

 

Answer depends on its application (recently graduated with Tech theatre BA) because scenic painting requres several different brushes for specific texture and detailed results.

 

Final words from me now....(I learned these words from elsewhere)

 

A person convinced against their will is of the same opion still!

 

think about THAT for a while then go talk with her. (that relates to everyone what do you think eh Vickaroo or Chef Tim?)

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Damn. If my other half wanted to give me one of his then I would be ok with that. I basically got him the 85 auto wagon (the new addition to the family) and now he has adopted it as his own. The gray 85 man. was supposed to be his. *grumble*

 

But hmm.. I would side with most here.. she probably doesn't want an "old" "kick around" car.

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Originally posted by kevinsUBARU

Did you pick up a copy of the Want Ad Digest yet? :-)

 

Yep... haven't started calling around yet, though. Tax time's still a little far off to be actively searching, but I'm keeping an eye on the Want Ad Digest, seeing what comes and goes.

 

Originally posted by BlueSoob

But hmm.. I would side with most here.. she probably doesn't want an "old" "kick around" car.

 

I don't think that's much of an issue here... she's got her '96 Saturn that she drives, and she's pretty fond of it. She's actually happy with my Loyale, too... loves the fact that it's manual, and has no problem driving around with me in it. Maybe I need to let her drive around in it more often, actually *thoughtful*.

 

She doesn't have much in the way of mechanical skills/knowledge, but she trusts my judgement... I've fixed enough problems in her Saturn and my Subie that she trusts me.

 

I'm really starting to think that this is just an outlet for her... she's got the habit of getting stressed out, and releasing it on something that's not really related to her reason for getting stressed. She's on clinical right now, graduating in May, working another job outside clinical, worried about finishing her thesis during the next semester, and planning the wedding. She really doesn't have the time for any other projects right now, or hobbies (which is what I think she views my future Subaru as).

 

Rather than come right out and say that, or deal with it, she's letting go by attacking my Subaru plans, because I have time for it... does that make sense? :D

 

I've known this gal since freshman year in high school... gotta be getting close to ten years or so, and she never fails to confound me :D. Gotta love her though...

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I made my girlfriend get a Subaru before I proposed to her. :headbang:

 

Actually her Tercel was dying and we looked at many cars, but the Subaru was well maintained, and she like that it has AWD so she could go see her parents who just moved to Idaho. Didn't hurt that my dad helped finance it for 6 months.

 

If this is a car that she will be driving 40% or more of the time, then you should get a new Legacy, and if she doesn't like that then get a new Import (read Japanese) vehicle.

 

But if it is a car for you, Then you need to have the final say. You will be the one driving it, you will be the one who will have to work on it. My wife may roll her eyes when I buy a car that I say I am going to keep, but if she won't be seen in it, then we take her car.

 

My wife also understands that I have an illness like Mick. But she knew that when we were dating.

 

Someone mentioned that you should let her drive your new Subaru and she will see how cool it is. WRONG. I am sorry but a ea81 or ea82 Subaru does not drive that great. I mean I love them and all, but the reason that I put up with them is because they are 4WD.

 

I think here worry is that you will buy a $200 POS, and be always working on it, and eating up the money that you both have. And that is a valid point. You buy anything will rust on it and you are just throwing money into something that is going to be worthless in a couple of years.

 

If she doesn't want you to buy from a board member, that fine. Buy it from a private party, and buy something that looks and runs nice, even if it is older.

 

And if this is important to you, then you should talk about it before you get married.

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I know exactly whear U are comin' from! I went through this same battle with my wife when it was time to get rid of my old Bronco II and get somthing diferent(for many reasons). I was told "Dont get some OLD pice of crap Subaru that wil look bad and need to be fixed all the time". What she ment was, "I'm tired of U spending soooo much time on a hobby that I don't share, (wheeling that is) and I think ANYTHING older than a 92 or 93 is a pice of crap".

I reminded her that SHE wanted the new to us '95 Suberban that would never break down. And we just had to put a transfer case in it @ $1100:eek: And I could buy A whole spair Subaru for that much money!

Well I got the Ru, and she didn't like it for about a week, then all was well agen, and has been ever since. Gals WILL get over it, it's just a mater of how long it will take. And now that she has, she says that swaping the Bronco II for a Subaru is one of the best things I could have done.

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