Situation's rather more complicated than that. STBPOIH (Soon to be previous owner, I hope), who is a FOAF, left it there after a failed DIY oil change that resulted in a blown motor. It's been sitting for 14 months because he was severely dispirited by this (and other life events). Why the shop has allowed this is unknown to me. We're talking about my taking it off his hands for scrap price (or not too much more, I also hope), hence the need for the haul. A few possibilities have surfaced since my original post, including some local (to me) guys who may be flatbedding another car up into the neighborhood of where this one is and were otherwise going to deadhead the return. And if that doesn't fly, I just heard from another friend that U-Haul indeed does carry flatbeds up here - total news to me. So it'll get sorted out...
So to return to the original suggestion: With some effort I might be able to convince CAA to do it, but I'd be conning them. Sometimes I'm okay with that, but not so much this time.