Older outback (2013) won’t talk to newer iphone. Help!

[nyomtov]

Had to get a new iphone but cant pair it with my 2013 outback!  I can play audio from the phone via bluetooth but the phone itself won’t pair so calls don’t come through the speakers. And “car media” won’t come up as an option. I’ve tried everything….pairing, erasing, talking to apple, but nothing seems to work.  The 2013 model is before starlink or appleplay.  I’m out of ideas. Read that i may need to update the bluetooth software on the car.  Can’t even imagine what that would cost through a dealer if it was even possible. Any ideas???