RustBrat

......I *had* to begin somewhere-Bear in mind, I've just been horrifically rooked on an 86 Brat, but amongst issues of rust, New Jersey mandates that I *must* pass an emissions inspection: My first "test." As my build begins, read, laugh, cry, and learn at my expense. Upon startup of a vintage Subaru Brat, when one hears a distinctive "Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick.....Buhhhh....Buhhh....Buhhh...." All of your friends will immediately cry: "Aha! You have a blown exhaust gasket!" The only way to remedy the situation will be to somehow support your car with a rusted frame and daintily position the car amidst ramps and jackstands.......The faulty gasket will need to be removed, and a new one secured in place. Your tools needed: 1.) Safety Goggles. 2.) A good set of open-end wrenches. 3.) A 3/8 inch socket wrench with a full metric set. 4.) Clothes you don't mind utterly destroying. 5.) An emergency candle. 6.) A torch. 7.) The Bishop himself to pray for you. (Never mind the jack and stands........It's more creative to find a different way to lift that sucker......Nope.....Won't work.......Okay. $150.00 later, we have a jack and stands.) Now, back to the fun.........! While under your Brat, do kindly note that upon startup, the exhaust heats to an immediate 600-degrees or so, and the gas you're chasing to plug is superheated almost immediately. Perhaps you should have noted item number 8: Gloves. After you check for your emissions leak, you may note a strange sensation and smell of something cooking and burning-Yes, that's your forearm. As it turns out? You have *two* known leaks! Upon realizing your newfound burn, it's common for one to sit up in an involuntary reflex. This reflex carries one's torso upwards approximately 25 inches or so. The average Brat sits approximately 18-inches in the air above you on jackstands. The utter shellacking of head-to-oilpan as a byproduct often leads into a shower of rust particles, bits of frame and innate hatred of one's existance. Time for a beer. All better now? Perfect! It's time to tackle the gasket! Upon placing the box-end-wrench on the nut, one will find that, if nothing else, after 25 years, the rusted nuts have *increased* their tenacious grip on the manifold-to y-pipe junction. They will have to be split. -An old mechanic's trick, however, is to superheat the bolt with a torch, and then place an emergency candle above the nut-The capillarial action of the heat and the wax will act faster and more reliably than a penetrating oil. -Hot wax tends to drip *downwards* due to sheer gravity. Perhaps it wasn't such a smooth move to position oneself *directly* under the bolt. -What a great idea! The bolt broke free! Unfortunately, in your excitement, you've failed to realize that the wrench will travel *exactly* 1/8 of an inch before it strikes something metallic, and must be repositioned. Of course, you're certainly relieved that your knuckles have smashed the inner fender and absorbed the majority of the impact to protect your precious and fragile steel tools! -Thankfully, "Blood Red" has nothing to do with a Subaru's paint scheme. You now have added "Custom Engine Bay Decorations." -Of course, the most common reaction of your newfound artistic genius is to scream to the world......! -Much like an avalanche, rust tends to gravitate to open cavities. Thankfully, it is yummy and tasty, satisfying the same dietary function as liver and spinach for an iron supplement......! -With a thorough "Yank!" The y-pipe comes loose in a heartbeat-As the exhaust positions itself conveniently between one's legs. -At that moment, item number 9 comes to mind: An athletic supporter and a cup. -With one's newfound ability to sing as high as Frankie Valli, you're sure to impress the neighbors. Regrettably, in your 150-decibel celebration of Soprano sound, you've failed to notice that you're orchestrating in profanity much like Mozart on the piano. Thankfully, a large rust chunk enters the oral cavity to remind you of decent usages of the English language. -At such point, one's natural reflex is to involuntarily sit up approximately 24-inches or so. -Once more, the average Brat sits 18-inches in the air on jackstands. -Gasket remover is caustic stuff; upon application, a reminder of caution exists as a hunk of old gasket conveniently lands on one's unprotected forehead as "food for thought," causing an involuntary reflex of the torso to sit up 24-inches or so.......! -Now, with three distinct lumps and a chemical burn on one's forehead, let's get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we? -Eager to exploit one's newfound mechanical prowess, it's a matter of excitement to tear apart the plastic bag containing the new gaskets. Thankfully, Subaru's precise engineering has led to sharply edged plates, neatly slicing the fingers. -Time for another beer. -With newfound precision of a Subaru surgeon, and the new gaskets in place, it's time to re-mount the y-pipe. As you put the nut on the stud, you will once again become keenly aware that your wrench will move exactly 1/8 of an inch before it strikes something metallic and must be repositioned......! -The moral of the story? On an EA81 Brat, the air pump itself has a secondary outlet which dead-ends in the air cleaner at a check-valve. When the valve fails, it will create a "tick....tick....tick.....Buhhhh....Buhhhh.....Buhhhh...." sound........Which all of your friends will tell you is caused by a faulty exhaust gasket-The only way to remedy the problem is to replace the faulty gasket...........! ......When all you had to do was to replace a $12.00 snap-in valve in the first place.......! Welcome to my Brat!

....You hit the nail on the head! That was the Brat! In any case, Tonight's mission was to remove the leaking flange gasket from the actual Y-pipe; Regrettably? My worklight burned out, so I could neither complete the job, nor take photos! I guess that I'll move my postings to the 80's forum to detail this restoration of sorts-Truthfully? While replacing a tail-light bulb, and peering along the bodyside, I can only be enraged even further at the lies I was told! Rotten from the inside-out! (Of course, bear in mind that I didn't pay $5,000 for the car, I'm aware of that-I'm just still pissed that I was lied to as horribly as I was!) Meanwhile: A simple tip in bolt removal from a seemingly "Frozen" Subie exhaust: Forget PB, WD-40 or the like-All you need is a propane torch and a candle, plus some clearance! Heat the bolt until it's literally glowing cherry-red; Then, hold the candle to the bolt-Wax will literally drip *everywhere,* but more importantly, it will also be sucked into the threads of the frozen bolt-With a simple 3/8ths socket wrench, the rusted bolt actually turned without shearing! With a day off on Thursday, I'll be sure to capture photos of the process-In the State of N.J., one can literally drive a rotted Brat that will undoubtedly break into pieces if a collison were to occur-Just don't pollute the environment! My first step? Get this damn thing inspected!

.....Now a car dealer jumps to reply! I live in Cape May County; Prone to horrible flooding, "moon-tides," and several other natural calamities! I've seen Honda CR-V's suck water through their intakes, and immediately seize and die-Likewise, I've run a 1993 Subaru Impreza with 145,000 miles through 8" of water and had a Nissan Armada following me go into hydrostatic lock-up. Done. New Engine Needed!!!!!! I managed a Subaru dealership for a year. Presently? I sell at the World's Largest Corvette dealer. Do I own a Corvette? Yes. Do I drive it? No. I drive a near-300,000-mile Outback. And, I just bought a vintage Brat. Why? From the ground-up, I believe that although antiquated by design, the Subaru design emulates a simple car that was built for the common man (Or woman!) to repair; From top-mounted starters such as the one found on your Forester, to the high intake, with proper maintenance, there is absolutely NO reason WHATSOEVER that your Forester will not provide 300,000 miles worth of service-And before my Outback? My Legacy finally threw a rod-bearing at 519,000 miles!!!!!!!! If you still need your struts replaced, please reply-I'll put you in touch with a GREAT Subaru-certified mechanic in Atlantic City!

......Driving a vintage "Scooby" truck on a 50-mile journey of uncertainty can be rewarding, and informative! With the A/C on, the Brat stuttered horribly; RPM's fluttering between stall and 800 rpm on the conservative side......The moment I turned the a/c off? Nothing. The second the blower was off? A solid 900 rpm. Mindful of the horrible rust, and missing frame portions, as well as a passenger-side door that *wouldn't* open for love nor money, (Most likely holding the car upright!) I set out on my journey. With the T-tops locked up, the windows rolled down, a few kicks of the accelerator, and the Hitachi grumbled the old boxer to life; The first shift point, however, yielded the frightening truth; The whole transmission and engine lurched horribly-Most likely, I have a rotted-out mount(s)! With exhaust belching from an unknown leak at either the manifold or the y-pipe, I gingerly made my way at a constant 55 mph......A 1955 Thunderbird owner gave me a "thumbs up" in his perfectly-restored aquamarine example........Despite the inherent cosmetics, structural problem, plus a sudden stop from a motorist disoriented in how to merge, the drum brakes performed flawlessly without lockup, and I'm hooked. This will be a fun and great adventure in restoration-Money be damned! I presently am *still* in the car business, but was transferred from Subaru manager to Corvette salesman-Sales have been abysmal, and I wouldn't sell my soul and integrity in the name of profit, so I was given a quote-en-quote "Lateral change." For all of the "backyard mechanics" out there, I'll be posting "poor man's" restoration tips as I come by faults! If someone were to ask me: "What would be the perfect fit for you? What car would *you* buy?" it would DEFINATELY be this Brat! I have a 2008 Jaguar sitting in my driveway, plus a 1948 Series I Land Rover and a 1984 Corvette, but drive a 1996 Outback-289,000 miles to date. When I'm done with this Brat? I hope to get the same service as the Outback-And leave the Brits and American Muscle in my driveway fall to special events only and posterity.........! Meanwhile, let the fun begin!

.....Now that I *own* the truck, today is an experiment: At roughly 6:00, I'll be attempting to drive it 48 miles from Atlantic City to Cape May, so it can come "home." Will it make it? Will it fold in half? Will a vaccuum line, or oil leak (Bearing in mind, the seller said: "Doesn't leak a DROP of oil!" I'll believe that it will simply spew it through the valves! By 8:00, if I'm not home, all Garden State Parkway drivers should keep alert from miles 0-38 for a Brat in two pieces and a driver jumping and swearing feverishly on the side of the road.......!

......I just wanted to introduce myself as a "newbie"-My name is Rob, and I suppose that as a Subaru "Nut" for too many years, (I even managed a South Jersey Subaru dealership briefly.) I foolishly bought a "too good to be true" 86 Brat sold privately out of Barnegat; As the seller lied about just about *everything* on the car (Except for who to make the check out to, mind you!) I guess that I'll be taking everyone along on my adventures in restoring the car I'd always wanted-But could never have! If I can set the scene a bit: A seller posts on both ebay and craigslist about "1986 Brat GL....Great daily driver-I drive it every day.....50 miles......" I just spent $2,000.00 taking care of ALL of the outside rust......I'm selling it because I didn't know about rust on the underside.....I *had* this truck listed for $5000 before I found out..." $1,000.00. ($800.00 on craigslist.) "Why so cheap?" I wondered....."There *Must* be more to it....." I thought.....! When I got there? Paint over rust. Straight from the rattlecan-Horrible. The grille was off, and the hood horribly dented and misaligned-The only way to open it? Pull off the grill-The cable was stretched! Photos from the passenger side eliminated the fact that the entire driver's side frame rail was rusted away right at the arch of the unibody to the shock tower......Exhaust belching from the gasket at the manifold......Passenger door won't open.....(Probably holding the car together....) Oil pressure jumping, idle too low, vaccuum leaks abundant and pages upon pages of receipts from a previous owner detailing massive problems with rust and component failure.......! With a quick sign of the cross, and a plethora of swears under my breath about such an unscrupulous seller and the pack of lies he sold me to drive two hours, I did the only *responsible* (AND STUPID!) thing I could think of: "What's your best price?" "$1,000.00" "Then why is it advertised on Craig's List for $800.00" "Oh! That? You responded to my 'ebay' ad.....Uhhhh....That was a mistake.....But I'll honor it." Yes, I should've walked at that very moment. An edit, four placements in the ad, and a "captcha" later, and "He made a mistake?" Scumbag-And *I* was the guy in the car business! $750.00 later, I figured I could at least sell the parts to recoup $500.00 if I had to. Armed with a welder, some L-Channel steel, and absolutely *NO* "Know-How," I'll keep everyone posted and possibly entertained with anecdotes and photos-Wish me luck!