Went to check out the soob today (has been sitting on the side of the road since it broke down last week), popped the hood, popped the rotor cap, and tried to crank it. Rotor didn't turn.

 

So, it was in fact the timing belt. So, now the question is:

 

How off is my timing?

 

Since I tried to turn it over, etc... Guess I'll learn some new stuff on my day off when I try to take the soob apart... This ought to be fun.

Who knows how far out of time it is? It's impossible to tell without taking the timing covers off and looking. Fortunately these engines are noninterference and very easy to get back in time when you change the belts. You're not going to get this car running without digging in and changing the Tbelts, so don't even worry about how far off time it is.

Doesn't matter how far off it is. You will be resetting it to spec when you put the new belts on.