When I turn the key the brake, seatbelt, and door lights ignite on the dash but when I turn it all the way they dim, along with any interior lights, and all I hear is clicking like the relay is bad.

No spark or crank.

 

The car has been doing this intermittently for a few weeks.

 

I just replaced the starter and now I'm about to have a coronary 'cause she can't get me to work tomm.

 

'99 leg w/ 160k

Sounds like you might have bad connections at the battery. or a dying battery.

Dead battery. Get it tested and most likely replaced and you should be good to go! Any local auto parts store should be able to test the battery for you... Good luck!

Intermittant sounds like it either is bad terminal(s) at the battery or a short internally with the battery. If the battery is relatively old (4 years or more), I'd replace it along with both terminals. This should rectify your problems.

Also check for excessive corrosion in the battery cables, most noticeably the ground which grounds back at the bolt that goes through the transmission bell housing.... I have seen this cause odd issues more times than once...

Battery and/or Connections.

Poor battery connection. Check the cables at both ends for tight and clean.

Bad battery (no electrons for a bad battery)

bad cable/s

bad grounds

dirty terminals

 

All of the above.

 

There was probably nothing really wrong with the starter as that is usually just the contacts.

Bad battery (no electrons for a bad battery)

bad cable/s

bad grounds

dirty terminals

 

All of the above.

 

There was probably nothing really wrong with the starter as that is usually just the contacts.

 

I was in a huge rush this morning so I grabbed a room temp ~65 deg. Pepsi and poured it on the contacts. Cranked them down a notch and BOOM!!!!

Back in buisness.

I was in a huge rush this morning so I grabbed a room temp ~65 deg. Pepsi and poured it on the contacts. Cranked them down a notch and BOOM!!!!

Back in buisness.

 

 

Then you need to take off the terminals and do a REAL cleaning to them. There has been extensive talk on CarTalk about this and no one knows why it works. Usually it is baking soda and water. Either way clean the terminals with a terminal brush.