So I tried to diagnose the problem. ECU doesn't appear to have any LCD's on it at all. It's a silver metal box, located underneath the steering column. I examined it as closely as possible without actually removing it.
Here's what I was able to find:
The CEL will turn off if I connect the two green plugs, putting the ECU into diagnostic, but still no LCD.
I plugged the two white connectors together, CEL stays on, no blinking lights at that point either.
Is my ECU dead? The car is currently running, I'm just not sure what's wrong at this point.
(oh, and just to mention - I'm really sorry for hijacking this post, was never my intent)