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Really Stoopid Things We Have Done


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I have been hanging around here for a few months and really enjoy all the posts. I know there are a lot of sub-par mechanics out there like me and I thought it would be good fun to share our @#$*-ups. I am more than willing to share mine.

 

Never, ever use more than one bottle of radiator stop-leak in a short period of time. I am still flushing tht crap out of radiator after one month. What really sucks is that it clogs evrything up and causes my motor to run hotter than usual. As a testament to EA-82 durability, it has overheated numerous times in the past month and still runs like a champ!

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I was doing a headgasket on one of my volvos

and was removing the head bolts-I snaped off 5

before I realized I was turning them the wrong way!!!

completly ruined the head and payed mechanic 800.00

to clean up mess-what a dumba$$. :banghead:

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I forgot to disconnect the battery before changing my alternator and I fried the voltage regulator... oops!

 

then there's always the part you got from the local parts store that isn't quite the right one and you don't realize it until you've spent hours wondering why it won't fit right... like a 23/25 spline axle...

 

--Spiffy

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The stupidest thing I did was: The first day I got my EA81 hatch, I put the battery in backwards and fried the fusible link. I ended up having to go and explain the dumb@ss at the parts place what a fusible link does, he ended up giving me the wrong thing in the end so I basically had to fabricate to over-sized wires he gave me. I finally got a replacement one a couple weeks ago off a 4x4 coupe in the junk yard.

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This is a seriously funny thread:lol:

I don't usually laugh at at posts but this one has me rolling on the floor!!!

 

(and I have no leg to stand on, I'm just still trying to think of which one of my automotive mishaps is the worst? soo many to choose from...):rolleyes:

 

Ok here is one of my favorites...

In High School my water pump started leaking through this round hole in the bottom of the water pump? It was slowly getting worse...

Being resourceful and cheap, I got some JB Weld and solved the leaking hole problem!:cool:

 

Needless to say the pump seized-up shortly thereafter and caused all kinds of problems. So I go to the Junkyard and pickup another never knowing the real purpose of the hole in the bottom of the water pump. My "new" lasted less than a year and starts leaking...so what do I do...?

Boy that JB Weld is good stuff!:rolleyes:

 

Shortly there after the "new" water pump starts making noise and leaking everywhere. I finally ended up getting a water pump from a parts store, never knowing till years later what that little hole is for...;)

 

Glenn,

Automotive Idiot!:clap:

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then there's always the part you got from the local parts store that isn't quite the right one and you don't realize it until you've spent hours wondering why it won't fit right... like a 23/25 spline axle...
:eek: Were you at my house or something? That is exactly what I did the 1st time I did some work on this car. DOH! :clap: Worse part of about it is that the catalogs all showed the wrong axle for my '88 GL Wagon 4x4. It spec'd a 25 spline for it. So, I measured everything and brought the old axle with me to find the right one.

 

Another one:

I put in a new water pump, oil pump, timing belt. Got it all back together and went for a drive. Sounded like garbage. Park the car in the garage and look down at my new parts pile and see an o-ring. Dang it! Forgot the o-ring around the oil pump! Tear it all apart and low and behold....it was missing. Re-timed the distributor and the car purrs now....

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Many years ago, when I rebuilt my first engine (a small block in a Chevy van) I misplaced one of the carb mounting nuts. After I searched for a while, I gave up and decided to start the engine. I immediately figured out where the nut was. Fortunately, it had only made a dent in the top of the piston and I was able to get it to run.

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filling up my radiator...

 

wow its leaking... its REALLY leaking! jeeez where is it coming from!? is my radiator ruined??? *10 minutes of searching and pondering*

 

OHHHHH drainplug... gotcha...:rolleyes:

 

***********************************

 

as posted on the usmb a little bit after i first joined...

 

i'd been having coolant leaks for like a week before i figured it out after getting some help... had been coming from the top of the engine block just below the air can on the driver's side... where the heater hoses were... lots of pondering and wondering... then i tightened the clamp... problem solved... (i then proceeded to clean all the leaky fluids off the driveway...)

 

**************************************

 

right after starting my rear-disc brake conversion on my 79... told the parents, "it won't be a problem if it doesn't work, i can just put my old brakes back on... its a bolt on mod!"

 

while removing the brake lines... *SNAP!* "what was that?"

 

"oh just the bleeder nipple... OHHHH NOOO THE BLEEDER NIPPLE!!!" *no turning back now*

 

********************************

 

you smell gas? must be the gas station... i still smell gas... no gas stations to be seen... hmmm... *pulls over into chruch parking lot, leaves car running, pops the hood and takes a look...*

 

all seems ok under the hood...still smell gas... i look on the other side of the engine... gas is gushing out... GUSHING... BAHHHLALA!

 

when rebuilding a carburator, be sure to tighten the float bowl drain plugs...

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not my stupid thing, but my brother...(a long time ago...)

 

i left for work one day and he was starting his first oil change...

 

when I came back from work (8hours later), he was still under his car screaming and yelling with 3 broken oil filter wrenches, a chain, hammer, chunks of oil filter and tin snips... after he explained to me he had to have my girlfriend come and get him twice (a 20 min drive) and take him to a parts store to get a new oil filter wrench thingy, he gave up and went the nail in the filter and big chain to pull on it route.... which didn't work.

 

then came the tin snips and vise grips in an attempt to tear it apart/out.

 

i look under the car (i know jack about cars!) to inspect the carnage, and point out "hey dude, you're going the wrong way!", 30 seconds later she's out...

 

a week done the road the tranny stopped doing it's 'tranny thing' so we had to tow the car back home.... he filled the engine oil alright, but failed to drain it... instead going for the tranny plug......:lol:

 

 

he's alot better now (fixes my car when she's dead) this was his first taking a tool to a car experience....

 

 

don't tell him i posted this.

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years ago I was into the AN600 honda cars they have a 2 cylinder airvcooled engine , think its the first import for Honda, I had heard about this 71 off Alabama street and stoped to look at it , the guy fired it up , I gave him the money , got in it to take my prize home the think wouldnt start, well just a few minutes befor I heard it start so we grapped a rope and started pulling it home, got half way home decided "hey lets pull start this Baby" so I let out the clutch and after awhile of no luck stopped and figured we would look at the plugs to see if were getting any gas, took out the first plug and what did I see ....... a bent up plug with alum. metal shavings all over it, well later we get it home tear the engine apart and it had junped time from a wore out timing chain and I totally destroyued the engine by turning it over and over and over, all 4 valves had broke off , the head, the valve seats were toast, broke wholes in the pistons, and bent one rod, i ended up pullin the engine and installin a nother

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I replaced an engine in my 82 wagon a few years back and was having some sort of trouble with it which required me to pull the intake back off. I tore the gasket up when I removed the intake. Just to make sure I could get it running I made a "temporary:) " gasket out of an oil filter box.

 

I got it running that day and was so excited about it I forgot all about the temporary gasket.

 

About a year later I was heading out for work and when I tried to start the engine it turned over once and just stoped hard. I pulled the plugs and found the cylinders on one side were filled with water.

 

I pulled the intake to try and find the problem...and there was the old oil filter box gasket...hee hee. A quick trip to the autoparts store and it was up and running strong again.

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There was the time when, while reinstalling the crankshaft pulley, I used a metal rod in a hole in the flywheel to keep the crankshaft from turning. I finished and removed the rod. It slipped out of my fingers...right into the bellhousing. How about the flexible claw tool? Couldn't find anything. Hmm...what about a magnet on a stick? Tried to fasten one on a dowel. Almost left it on the flywheel. Got a real telescoping magnet tool. Pulled out some sort of clip. Wondered what it did. Hoped it wasn't very important. Thought maybe it the rod would just sit on the bottom happily. Drove the car a while. Heard strange noises occasionally. Decided it couldn't be left alone. Tried to separate the engine and transmission. Couldn't get them apart. Finally noticed that little access plate in one of the diagrams in the manual. Wasn't pleased to find that it was smack on top of the engine crossmember, but undid the motor mounts and jacked the engine up. Two screws later, the rod came falling out onto the ground. :banana: A very nice sound that was!

 

I'm much more willing to try a complicated job now as a result of that experience. Several years later that clip is still on my desk. I'm sure sombody here knows what it does. I hope it's not important.:D

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I'm much more willing to try a complicated job now as a result of that experience. Several years later that clip is still on my desk. I'm sure sombody here knows what it does. I hope it's not important.:D

 

It's gotta be the lynch pin. Some day you'll be driving along and the car will completely fall apart line in a cartoon. :-p

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I did the head gasket on my 90 loyale and finished it up and started it up, then turned it off and was done with it for the night. Went out in the morning to test her out and I couldn't get it started, nothing was happening when I turned the key, just an electrical sound. Must be the starter, so I switched the starter from my parts car onto my loyale and nothing. Later my brother came by and happened to notice it was in drive still, I am used to a stick so I didnt think about it. Put it in park and it fired up no sweat.

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About two weeks after I got my first car, I couldn't get it started. (this was years ago when I used to own a Ford Tempo) Turned the key, and nothing. Not knowing much, I asked my dad to come out and look. He said, probably a dead battery. So we use his car to jump start mine. No matter what though, it wouldn't start.

 

My dad gets the idea, "let's bypass the starter solenoid". Out comes a screwdriver, and he crosses the two terminals on the solenoid. Car cranks over and starts inching forward.

 

Hope in, d'oh, shifter was in D. At least the parking brake was mostly on :lol:

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I just finished rebuilding the front end on my Justy 2 weeks ago. Last weekend I was out running around to the various flea mkts and while on the highway 70mph, the car started making a horrendous chatter and grinding noise. I backed it down to the legal minimum and limped it home. I put it up on jack stands expecting to find one of my newly remanufactured halfshafts to have failed, but everything was tight. So I locked and chocked the rear wheels and started the car. I put it in gear and couldn`t simulate the problem again. So I gingerly shifted through to 5th and looked again. I had a 2x4 against the torqueing side. Every once in a while I would get the same noise, but it was intermitent. From my frustration, I punched the tire:banghead: and lo behold the noise stayed constant. I shut the car off and was figuring the worse, like a bearing failure. I removed the tire and was going to repeat when I noticed shiny spots on the inside of the wheel. On closer view I found my noise-maker. In my haste to finish one side of my rebuild and start on the other side, I neglected to put the bolts back into the slide pins that hold the caliper on and the caliper had walked off the rotor enough to rub against the inside of the wheel. MECHANICAL STUPIDITY ERROR. Luckily it was an easy and cheap fix...

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One day I was working on my VW scirocco, looking for leaks at the injectors which are on the firewall side of the engine. I'm leaning over the engine, with my elbow on the exposed cam pulley supporting my weight, when I ask my buddy to turn the engine over. My elbow shot out from under me and I did a face plant into the intake manifold, then shot up and smashed my head on the hood. :rolleyes:

 

A more recent one was on my justy. I put a new disty rotor on, but didnt tighten the little screw. I was just driving along one day when it suddenly died. It took me forever to realize that the screw had come out and bashed the hall sensor in the disty. The screw was still there so I put it in, bent the fins on the sensor back, and drove it home.

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One day I was working on my VW scirocco, looking for leaks at the injectors which are on the firewall side of the engine. I'm leaning over the engine, with my elbow on the exposed cam pulley supporting my weight, when I ask my buddy to turn the engine over. My elbow shot out from under me and I did a face plant into the intake manifold, then shot up and smashed my head on the hood. :rolleyes:

 

A more recent one was on my justy. I put a new disty rotor on, but didnt tighten the little screw. I was just driving along one day when it suddenly died. It took me forever to realize that the screw had come out and bashed the hall sensor in the disty. The screw was still there so I put it in, bent the fins on the sensor back, and drove it home.

 

Now that one made me laugh. Reminded me of Laurel and Hardy:lol:

 

Long time ago I was at a friends house and his brother was getting his race boat ready for the weekend. He cranked it over, but it didnt sound right. All of a sudden a bunch of rags shot out of the velocity stacks and about 10ft into the air. It was pretty funny at first, cause they are on fire. Then it was "OH SHNIT!" when they landed back in the boat. Now that I think back, that was pretty funny too:headbang:

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... ok, here goes.. :(

 

When we put the new engine in a friends 86 wagon we changed the timing belts. The manual said put the engine in the middel of the three timming lines. We (they will say "you!") thought the timming lines were the A and B where top dead center is. So we got the motor running really horrid at 4 teeth on one belt and 3 teeth on the other off from where it was supose to go. After 1 hour of playing around with the belts we found out our mistake. I felt so stupid, as I remember seeing the real timming marks before. They got me to help as well cos I was a Subaru "guru".... I hadn't worked on a EA82 ever before, yet they still think i should of known.... go figure.

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Hers one

 

When I first got my soob I decided to change the tranny fluid. I had the car in my fathers garage and let the lift down for some reason. I then started to fill up with atf and some Lucas, 1 quart, 2quart, and I check it and its no showing yet, 3 quart and the Lucas and still its not showing on the dip sick, well I put in a 5th quart and check it and well it sill isnt showing. I was saying what the hell this thing holds a dam good amount of fliud. Well it was then that a pool of red crap cam flowing from under my car that I relized I for got to put back the drain plug.:rolleyes: I was distracted when I kept being asked if I was done yet.

 

Oh and even better

 

You guys will probly kill me over this one, I had a 86 BMW 325es. Once again I was at my fathers garage and put the car on the lift, was checking the front end. I left the key in the ignition and well opend the drivers door to take it out, I then left the door open and went o check the front end. Well the car was still to low and since the tires were right there I wanted to check my air. Checked all the air and went from the drivers side to the pass side ront and thats where the lift controlls are. :rolleyes: If you havent guessed what has happend yet then you will now, I lifted the car and start to hear crunch, crunch,crack, crack, and then elize oh ST:eek: I left the door open, crushed it and bent it down ward, luckly I had the window open so after jacing up on the door and bending the glass rame back it closes and works.

 

I say this is probly the worst on here so I win.:clap:

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Wife's Legacy- After having the transmission pulled out and put back in. I grab the second large jug of ATF that I drained out of it earlier and commence to pour it down the dipstick tube, using one of those really long black funnels. Glug glug glug, oh crap, I grabbed the wrong jug, that's the old motor oil jug! Doh! And it was very sludgy oil at that!

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